WisdomPlanning your final expression

Linda Rose Herman

By Linda Herman

Planning and purchasing our funeral and burial arrangements is often the last thing on our minds. Many people feel they have plenty of time to be concerned about things of this nature, and one hopes they are right. Regardless of whether you are young or old, wealthy or just managing to pay the bills on time, partnered or single, planning and purchasing funeral and/or burial arrangements can be a valuable gift you give to your family.

WHY PLAN?

The first reason is perhaps the most important one: time. When the burial and/or funeral is not planned and paid for in advance, the surviving spouse and family are left with making many challenging decisions on many things, including who will pay for the expenses, cremation or traditional, casket or urn type, and so forth. This can take days or even weeks, depending on how many people must be involved in making the final decisions. When there is more than one person who is making the choices and decisions, there is more than one opinion. Ideally, your family is being brought together with a clear frame of mind rather than fighting over all the options.

Because of this, at no point during the process do family members have the time or luxury of grieving and experiencing closure. Ideally, you want to give them the opportunity to celebrate a life well-lived.

The second reason is to save your family money. When nothing is taken care of, you are forcing the people you love the most to make a major financial decision and have a business transaction with a total stranger. They are forced to make an immediate decision during a very stressful and emotional time. Some funeral arrangers may not have the best interests of your family in mind. When people are forced to handle last minute decisions they are often based on guilt, remorse, and/or extreme emotions. Burial and funeral arrangements have to be handled almost immediately after a person’s death. They happen before any estates have been or can be settled, assets distributed or life insurance paid. Even if the money is being paid out, family members may still have to come up with the funds to actually take care of your final expenses.

One final reason, of course, to plan is the control that you have over your personal final arrangements. When you preplan and pay for your burial and funeral, you are dictating the many details and specifics of what you want. These major decisions offer an expression of who you are. A planned burial and/or funeral crafted by your personal preferences can reaffirm to your loved ones who you were and how you lived your life.

CONCLUSION

Planning a burial and funeral can be worrisome, depressing, and exhausting. It can also be your last moment of self expression. Regardless of your feelings and comfort with advance planning, be assured that a prearranged funeral can make the most powerful impact on your family and friends when they are faced with your death.

If you have any questions, would like to have me meet with your family, or have me as a speaker for your group, feel free to call upon me.